Well I really did quit my job at duane reade. I actually just never went back and according to my coworkers, she’s miserable and I’m honestly emotionless about it. I’ve went on two job interviews since then, and my stuttering didn’t really effect things much, but I didn’t get the job regardless. I have a job interview tomorrow at my favorite store, Ricky’s NYC, and it’s a group interview, I really hope I get it and that I don’t stutter that much. And I have a job interview at payless shoes, and I’m hoping both of these jobs pay more then 7.25 an hour. Stupid NYC and it’s crazy minimum wage.
In other news, Happy 4/20 guys! My newest realization is that I never stutter when I’m high, which is pretty interesting but I won’t make this a frequent hobby. I won’t be updating a for a week or so I think because I have midterms, but I’m completely open to any questions! I want to be more socially involved in this tumblr thing, so far it’s more like an internet diary then anything else.
Love and hugs!
Amy~<3
xxxxox
So, my manager calls me in the office and tells me that I need to raise more money for the AIDS walk that were sponsoring. I told her that it’s hard for me to do it because of my speech impediment. I sometimes just cant get the words out, and I don’t find it fair at all. She told me that even a gerbil could sell more then I did and that she doesn’t care about my speech impediment because it’s not a serious issue. Who is the right or wrong one in this conversation? Because as far as I’m concerned, she hurt my feelings, and I don’t think it’s right for me to be ridiculed and pretty much be called incompetent because I was honest about my speech problems. I’m currently about to quit this job.
So, I work at Duane Reade at Herald Square and I have been working there for 3-4 months. Herald Square is chock full of tourists, thats for sure. To make matters worse, most of them don’t understand english. When I stutter when I’m trying to explain something to them, they immediately don’t understand it, and are always in a rush. I just stutter more and more like it’s a crazy cycle. This is why I hate this job, and the fact I get paid 7.25 but hey that’s a different story. Along with customers, per each customer I need to say, do you need a bag? do you have a flex card? Do you want to donate $1 to the AIDS walk? All of those words get jumbled, especially when people don’t even know what a flex card is so they just give me a blank stare. They also give a confused stare when I stutter. It’s quite annoying. My manager does know that I stutter but she doesn’t understand the severity of it. I’m not a once in a while stutterer like fluent people when they make mistakes. I’m not making a mistake, I’m just speaking in a way that no one’s ever really listened to before. These are the reasons why I’m
a) getting a new job. Interview tomorrow! yay!
b) dreading the fact that I have work at 3:00 today.
c) disappointed that through all my hard work, I’ve only made 6 dollars for the AIDS walk.
Another day, another dollar right?
~Amy<3
My biggest thought of my morning is of course my first fashion class of the morning. In trend forecasting class, we have to present articles about current events and of course talk about them to the class which is made up of about 15 people. I went last because honestly I hate presentations. My throat closes up and my heart races waiting to be called on. I turn pink and blush a lot and I try to calm down so I will at least get through it. It was finally my turn and I started speaking. I stuttered a few times, and the whole class turned and stared. I felt like I was in a bad after school special. The teacher continued speaking and my peers were still staring at me. In my point of view, I think they were just wondering what is wrong with me. Why can’t she speak fluently? Why are her words jumbled? and why is she blushing so hard? Too many thoughts rush into my mind once people really stare at me and question why I’m doing this. I really wanted to end my presentation with ,” Yes, I’m sorry for stuttering, but I do have a speech impediment and I’m still proud of it.” This is college right? I can pretty much say what I want without getting in trouble, but yet I was being stared at like I was in a high school classroom again. Going home on the subway, I was rethinking my whole morning, and tears sprung to my eyes. I’m just so frustrated. Why can’t I be normal? I realize how easy fluent people must have it and they don’t even realize it. Although I sometimes dislike the bad moments of stuttering; overall it makes me a more colorful person on the inside. It’s definitely a great conversation starter, and it brings you out from the normal mix of people. I get noticed more, in a good and bad way. For example, how many fluent people that are fashion college students get to be in a TV special? or even in the newspaper? These are things that I think about that always make me so proud to be a person who stutters.
~Amy <3
I’m Amy Robin, I’m 19 years old and currently attend The Art Institute of NYC for Fashion Design. I reside in Brooklyn, NY but grew up in Queens, NY. I’m easy going and fun to be around. I’ve been featured on tv and in news articles which I will post later on. I wanted to create a Tumblr about stuttering because all of my life I have stuttered. It changes from severe to mild day by day and I want to educate people about it. Anyone can look up stuttering/stammering on google and feel like they understand but in reality they really don’t. I lost count of how many times I’ve been told to just slow down when I speak and to relax. That honestly doesn’t help at all. I don’t like being stared at like I’m some freak on the street. So, the purpose of this blog is to let people see inside the emotions and feelings of a person who stutters in their every day life. From going to work, to making presentations, or even talking on the telephone. I must add that I am not afraid to say anything that I feel or think and I hope you all have fun reading my blog.
Hugs and kisses!
~Amy<3
